I’ve taken the plunge! Jumped without a net, casted caution to the wind… I’m out of my mind! I feel (very minimally) like Paul, if I am out of my mind it is for the sake of God! 2 Cor 5:13 God is doing a new thing and it is incredible, scary, fun, terrifying and a gift all at the same time. I’ll dive right on in!
I will have to take you back just a little way to get the whole picture. I realize I can become “long winded” when blogging, so I am going to try to do the abridged version. I first met Jesus at 15 years old in Prattville, Alabama. He was and has been what my heart longs for. St. Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless until they find rest in You”. I began to follow Him then and I haven’t looked back (by the grace of God). Shortly after my transformation began, I saw missionaries for the first time at a conference and felt like I realized the purpose for my life. I then pursued a Christian education in Missiology/Cross-Cultural Studies at Toccoa Falls College. I met Scott after college and about the same time I was planning to go to China. After a few months in China, Scott came and proposed that we do life together. After we married, we pursued returning to China, but it wasn’t God’s timing and the door was closed for us. I have grown to appreciate that God knows better than I do. With the little bit of maturity that has come since and through that experience, I know His ways are higher than mine. He is good. That journey will have to be a whole separate blog, but suffice to say I learned how to surrender my will and agenda to the Lord in great measure through that experience.
I think our introduction to the prayer movement was through Jason Upton’s music. That type of music is called prophetic or spontaneous worship. One of his songs is listed on the blog, “In Your Presence”; make sure you listen to it. When I realized that there were LOTS of believers that had REAL, active prayer lives that consisted of more than running down a list of people and things to pray for, I was in awe and shock. I’ve read about people from generations past with these kinds of active faith/prayer lives, but hadn’t experienced it myself. Learning to really worship Him, in His presence, and to hear the Holy Spirit and pray what’s on His heart seemed revolutionary. I realized that “practicing His presence” is something that I can LIVE in. Learning how to restore the greatest commandment, “to love the Lord with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength” to the first place and greatest priority of my life became paramount. I can’t DO for the Lord until I first know how to BE in Him and before Him. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. John 15:4 I’m not suggesting we wait until we have become perfected to do anything… but that we make the FIRST part, first (Love Him) and the second part second (Love Others).
Now that the Lord has established The Well, I have had the opportunity to have a place to dive in and be free(er) from distractions and begin to really seek Him… and FIND HIM. The first time I felt the Holy Spirit tapping on my heart concerning making this prayer thing, THE THING for this season of my life was late January. I just pondered it, but didn’t really do anything about it. In the past several weeks, it has become more pressing. I tried to talk myself out of it and convince myself that it was my idea and not the Lord’s leading, but to no avail. I really enjoy my job teaching English as a second language. I love my students, they have become great friends. The hours are great, 20 hours a week in 3 days. With all of these “pros” I felt the internal struggle to trust that I was hearing correctly. I was very restless feeling like I knew WHAT He was asking of me and not having yet yielded myself completely. So, without really planning to, I told my boss that I thought that God is leading me to invest my time before Him in the house of prayer. In God’s goodness, the first person I told was affirming. I do struggle some with being a man pleaser, but do I ever LOVE to please my heavenly Father. There is nothing like His affirmation over me so I will seek that over man’s opinion any day.
Now I find myself as the head of my house hold and the one responsible for these two precious babies. By all “logic” it doesn’t make sense to quit my job in this economy and with my financial situation, but I know that there is no safer place in every regard including financially, than to be in His perfect will. I heard a great sermon recently on Noah and am stunned by his faith. When Noah built the ark, it had NEVER rained before. It likely took him about 100 years to construct this 4 story boat. Peter called him a preacher of righteousness, but his only “converts” in the time it took to build the ark were his family. After his family and the animals all loaded up, it STILL didn’t rain for 7 days, yet they had faith to remain and wait and it saved them all. Hebrews chapter 11 is filled with these stories of faith and verse 6 says, “And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” I will walk in faith and obedience as much as I know how to and will continue to seek His will and wisdom in all things. There are more questions than answers at this point, but He is faithful. He will provide for our every need. I am excited that He has given me just enough faith to follow Him in this new season. He is teaching me to trust Him for everything and has put me on the “fast track” to die to my flesh in the area of finances. I am learning that a way to overcome fear in finances is to GIVE. It is exciting to learn to give out of need and not just overflow. I am trusting that I will be able to share stories of His provisions and power in my new faith journey that will increase your faith. I know I am always encouraged when I hear of how God moves in other people’s lives that walk in faith.
If you have a story to share of how He has been faithful to you or stories you have heard of, PLEASE write it here. I will probably need them to draw from in the days ahead J. Let us be mutually encouraged by one another’s faith! Rom 1:12
(so much for abridged!)
- Jennifer Henson
- I love Jesus more than life, and I mean that. I have been entrusted by God with an amazing family. A husband who I am madly in love with and our three kids! My main goal in raising them is that they will grow to know Jesus, love Him and care about the burdens of His heart.
1 comment:
Jennifer....Andy and I have so many stories of God's faithfulness in our lives. We could shout from the mountain tops of how good and gracious he has been to teach us to trust him. We, like you, feel overwhelmed with a sense of wanting to step out in more faith...in every area of our lives...finances..we desire to have a bigger and better life through simplifying more and more..prayer lives...being caught up in the secret place of knowing him deeper and hearing him more clearly..teaching and training our children...trusting that they are His and he has gifted us with them for this time to train and teach and pour into them HIS love...our marriage..becoming one as the Father desires..which means No walls in any area of our marriage...being all of who we are in Jesus to one another...in Ministry...allowing our lives to be open before these college students in Florida and anyone else who the Lord puts on our path...from church, from the gym, etc...open to the point of not holding back..giving all of who we are..living in real community with them. All of this is so much harder than we want it to be...it's a daily dying to ourselves and being raised up in Him and His power. It's HIS power that brings this kind of living and we can't live in His power when we aren't living IN Him...being WITH Him.
Thank you for this blog..this place where we can read and be encouraged and even hear the Lord for our own lives.
NOW...on to the one story of God's faithfulness that I will share with you this morning... (I join you in being long winded and into details!) :)...I think the world needs more long winded people..details matter!! :)
When I heard from the Lord that He desired that we bring a daughter home from China, I also heard that we would need to believe Him for the total cost of the adoption. My flesh wanted to excuse what I had heard b/c with our income, it definitely seemed impossible. Pretty soon after we started the process, I was approached to help waitress at a friend's BBQ place, and I gladly took the position as a door opened from the Lord to provide for the adoption. We felt an urging from the Lord to sell one of our cars that was paid for in order to have the first "chunk" of money required in the adoption. 6 months after we started the adoption process, we received Christmas cards from several families in Alabama where we had first served in ministry with checks falling out of them in support of our adoption. We had no idea that these wonderful families even knew that we were adopting, but through word of mouth, they found out and couldn't wait to be part of the adoption. One family sent $1200, another family sent $2000 to our agency. A sweet and precious family from our church in Georgia came by our home late one night and hand delivered us a check for $1000 because the Lord told them to give to our adoption. Blessing after blessing came from the Lord and all along He was proving himself faithful and trustworthy.
When the adoption process first started, we were told that we would leave for China within 6-7 months of finishing our paperwork. Somewhere in the paperwork process, the timeframe changed and what was supposed to take 6-7 months ended up taking 2 years to the day from our decision to apply for international adoption. For us, as hard as the wait for Lydia was, the situation was clear. God's ways are higher than ours...his timing is perfect. He used the 2 year wait to prepare our hearts, to teach us faith and trust in Him on a greater level..and to provide the entire amount of the adoption before we ever left for China.
We started the process as a 1 income family and the 1 income was a Pastor's salary..which was a wonderful provision from the Lord...but there was never excess at the end of a pay period if you know what I mean. :) God not only blessed us with Lydia Grace Jia Lowry from rural Southern China, but he provided for the total amount of the adoption before we ever left to go and bring her home. The road to trusting him more wasn't always easy...there were many conversations with God about his ways and his timing and those conversations sometimes looked like a 2 year old's temper tantrum...but the Lord was faithful and trustworthy. We heard from the Lord...we were to bring a daughter home from China and we were to trust him for the financial provision. There weren't signs on our fridge...it was a "stirring" of sorts...a still, small voice in our hearts urging us to trust him and walk in faith.
Be blessed as you walk this journey with the Lord...give more and more of your heart to him...trust more and more. Open wide your mouth and watch him fill it to overflowing.
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