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I love Jesus more than life, and I mean that. I have been entrusted by God with an amazing family. A husband who I am madly in love with and our three kids! My main goal in raising them is that they will grow to know Jesus, love Him and care about the burdens of His heart.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Pt. 2; A touch in the night

In the previous blog I talked about how the Lord spoke to me about our altered view of reality in the church (myself included!) and how we "go through the motions" without even perceiving that we aren't in touch with reality.  Directly after that experience of waking up three times, I laid back in the bed and turned on the ipod to listen to worship music while I went back to sleep.  I haven't done this in a LONG time.  I began to remember that the months after Scott passed away, I fell asleep EVERY night to these same songs.  In my heart I began to really worship through remembering the goodness, faithfulness and tenderness of the Lord in my life.  Suddenly, I was aware of the intense presence of the Lord.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

How long have we been asleep?

I had an interesting experience Sunday night. It will likely take a few posts to share all of what happened but for now, I will share just part of it.

Sunday night I woke up in the middle of the night and really needed to use the restroom. I sat up in the bed, but was having trouble getting my eyes to actually open. I rubbed them a few times and realized how groggy I really was and how my vision was even not cooperating. I actually physically pryed one eye open trying to get myself to wake up more.

Then, I opened my eyes to find that I was still laying down had JUST now actually woken up. I lay there for a minute realizing that the whole first "waking up" was a dream and hadn't really happened. I lay there trying to will myself into action...because I really did have to go to the bathroom. I sat up and tried willing myself to get out of the bed. Unbelievably, I opened my eyes AGAIN to find that I was REALLY just NOW waking up. I had twice now believed myself to be awake and was in fact NOT awake.