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I love Jesus more than life, and I mean that. I have been entrusted by God with an amazing family. A husband who I am madly in love with and our three kids! My main goal in raising them is that they will grow to know Jesus, love Him and care about the burdens of His heart.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The beauty of dying leaves.

God is downloading so many thoughts these last few days/weeks that I feel like I am struggling to keep up. I love it. The biggest thing is that I have a real burden for the lost, I have been asking God for salvation in this region a lot. I have also been confronted with the immeasurable, unsearchable vastness that God is, and my small vision of Him. I am longing for a faith in action, a life of abandoned surrender to God in all of these things. With each revelation of the Word, each new conviction, burden, and vision... He is asking for more of me. He is answering prayers! I am saying MORE Lord, and He responds with asking that I lay my life (comforts, time, finances, dreams/goals etc) down more and more, with the promise of more of Him. I'm not sure if any of that makes sense, but for a short post, I wanted to say that today when I was seeing all of the beautiful fall colors I thought, it's so God to make the leaves the most beautiful as they are dying. When we lay our lives down for Him, His Kingdom, His purpose, His glory, His people... that's when He is the most beautiful IN us... as we are dying.
Lord, let Your splendor and majesty be on display in my life as I learn what it is to lay it down. "He is most glorified in you when you are most satisfied in Him." (John Piper)... and He is all satisfying!
John 12:24-26 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him."

2 Cor 4:10 "We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body."

Friday, October 23, 2009

Gulf Shores

There are many things churning in my mind these days. The kind that have to brew long enough to come out the best strength (coffee analogy ;). I've almost been home for a week, and really want to at least get some pictures of the vacation time up. Simeon was insanely clingy and ended up having an ear infection by the time I got home. He slept great while we were gone, probably partly because of not feeling well. He was great at the beach though, completely content. He did chip his tooth a little diving in the pool. He really has no fear and would give me a..."you'd better be ready to catch me" look, whether or not I really was. Eliya did great and loved playing with her cousins. I'm still hearing about Papi's antics. Raisins become bugs and plain oatmeal porridge when Papi's in charge (video soon to follow). I also keep hearing from Eliya about the big fish that Papi cut with a knife. :)

Here are just a few pictures. My sister in law was much better about capturing some of these great moments. I am using some of her pictures here.

Love vacation, but I also love that I long for home when I'm gone for too long. I am so thankful for the difficult and wonderful places that I am in...the refiner's fire. I love the churning and yearning of the Spirit in me. I'm still processing, praying and leaning into what God is doing in me concerning the last post. I love learning, growing and dying... only to repeat!

Gulf Shores 2009

Thursday, October 8, 2009

You will be My witnesses!

My world is being rocked right now! Peter- "Therefore repent and return, so that your sins may be wiped away, in order that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord; and that He may send Jesus, The Christ appointed for you, whom heaven must receive until the period of restoration of all things." (Acts 3:19-21) NOW LORD, GRANT THAT YOUR SERVANTS MAY SPEAK YOUR WORD WITH BOLDNESS!

In Acts 2 Peter declared who Jesus is, His death and resurrection. His position exalted to the right hand of God, the promise of the Holy Spirit... That God made Jesus both Lord and Christ. When the people heard this testimony of Jesus, THEY WERE PIERCED TO THE HEART! 3,000 were saved for ETERNITY. I am so pierced to the heart right now. I believe there is an eternity. Life for those who follow Jesus, and death (in hell) for those who don't. The gap between my "beliefs" and my actions HAS to close. If I want to love like Jesus, I will pray, look and ask Him for opportunities to make HIM known.

I will believe that in my weakness and with weak words that He will make Himself known. I believe that the Holy Spirit can use me to pierce people to the heart and change the course of their present life and their eternal destiny. LORD GIVE ME ONE TODAY... One that I can share who you are that does not know You. One today, one tomorrow, one the next day. Even if I do this 100 times before someone believes and is changed... it will be worth it. I lay down my life, my reputation, fear of the opinion of man, because You are worth it! Give me REAL compassion and love for the lost. The example that I've heard before is if a house is burning down and the people inside are sleeping, wouldn't you wake them?? Who would say, well, it's their choice, I don't want to meddle. Thank You Jesus that in 1996, someone meddled in MY life and it led to my salvation.

If you do follow the Lord and know you "should" believe in heaven and hell but feel apathy towards the lost... begin by asking Him for passion and compassion for the lost. Ask Him for a revelation of what we have been saved from and Who we have been saved to; Jesus Christ (and the Love of God, peace which passes understanding, a new nature, new heart, new mind, purpose, LIFE... to name a few). Get in the Word until it transforms You. We must renew our minds and hearts until they come in line with the Word. I'm excited about the Word being more alive in me today than yesterday.

Pray for me as I try to keep up with what He is burning in my heart. I don't want to be just a hearer or the Word but a doer!

Things are about to get crazy... and I think I like it!

Monday, October 5, 2009

Pressing In

UGH! That is the word to sum up the present battle. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I really feel like I am on the verge of break through in some significant ways. The Creator of my soul is calling and inviting me into something real, yet unknown. There are moments that I feel like I am on the edge of the cliff (exhilarated and abandoned to Him)... and then there are days, like today, where it's as though there is a dull lethargy over my entire being. On days like today, I feel like prayer, worshipping and getting in the Word feel more like walking through quicksand than abiding.

I really want the "more". The secret place in God that although available to all that are His, few press into that place and seek unto the finding. I will resist complacency. Even though I fail repetitively, I will not grow weary of the pursuit; because the One I pursue, never grows weary of my failing. His delights in the chase and He loves me in my weakness. How awesome is Your kindness and Your unfailing love.

So let us know, let us press on to know the LORD His going forth is as certain as the dawn; and He will come to us like the rain, like the spring rain watering the earth. Leaving the elementary teaching about the Christ, let us press on to maturity. Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead. (Hosea 6:3, Hebrews 6:1, Philippians 3:12)

There is a Misty Edwards song (Always on His Mind) that has a bridge that says, "How far will you let me go? How abandoned will you let me be?" I recently felt like God was challenging, even provoking me, "How much is enough, how little of Me are you willing to settle for? How long will you ask, seek and knock? How small is your vision of how deep you can go?" A few days later I heard that part of that song and so felt like those were the perfect words to communicate a response to Him. How far will You let me go and how abandoned will You let me be?!

He gives me 4 ounces more of Himself, but increases my appetite to 12 ounces. Then He gives me 8 ounces... and increases my capacity to 20 ounces. With increased revelation of Jesus, the desire for more and the discontent with things the way they have always been happens simultaneously.

Shake off Lethargy, Refuse Complacency, and Let's Press In!